“In my own little corner, in my own little chair I can be whatever I want to be.” (Cinderella, 1965)
Cinderella was always my favorite Disney movie. So when my therapist suggested I imagine a “safe room” for my bruised and battered emotions, this song danced it’s way across my psyche.
In my “safe room” I had a bed, a nice rug in the center and a lovely breakfast nook in the corner. A fireplace in the center of one wall was a nice touch – after all, memories get cold once in a while. But the two most notable features (to me AND my therapist) was the front and back door. The front door was the kind I saw in movies. You know, the ones where the upper half of the door and the bottom half were split so you can chat with your neighbor while cooling a pie on the window ledge? (cue Leave it to Beaver music here).
The second thought-provoking feature was the back door. It led to a lovely meadow and forest. My therapist’s head tilted to one side, “hmmmmm, interesting.”
“Because… ?” I asked.
He pursed his lips while looking at my drawing, “I have never had anyone draw a back door before.”
So does this make me brilliant, fascinating, or ready for a straitjacket? I thought it might be wise to keep that thought to myself so I just said, “Oh, really?”
“Well,” he explained. “This is supposed to be your safe room. Your front door is split so you can let people in just so far, and since you have a back door, this tells me that even in your safe place, you feel the need for an escape route.”
I had buried pain so deep and had so many trust issues that even my safe room had an escape route!
Well, this explained a few things. I wondered if a medium size straitjacket would fit.
In order to climb out of this cavern, I needed to learn to trust my Heavenly Father to light the way. His Word was a constant torch and guide on my journey.
“For in the time of trouble, He shall hide me in His Pavilion.
In the secret place of His tabernacle, He shall hide me.
He shall set me high upon a rock.” Psalm 27:5
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