The Blessing of
Pain’s Work, Part II
Gift giving season is upon us. This is my
FAVORITE time of year! My children are under the same roof, lots of fun food,
movies, laughter, presents and TIME. Just to have time as a family is sacred
and precious to me.
Then there are Christmas parties with fun, food,
laughter, and the inevitable elephant gift game. I’m always looking through my
house for an old, unopened gift that was passed on to me at another party. I
was pondering such things when the Lord clearly said, “I re-gift”.
He had my attention. “You? Re-gift? What could
you possibly re-gift, Lord, “ I asked.
“Your past,” He answered.
I don’t know about anyone else, but my past has
some painful stuff in it and I would NOT want to open it again. Instead of
visions of sugar plums dancing in my head, I had visions of me sitting at His
Christmas tree with great anticipation as He hands me a beautiful silver-papered
box with white tulle. I rip it open and look into His eyes with excitement as I
tear open the box…only to see molestation. Shocked and confused, I grab another
beautifully wrapped gift; this one has red shiny paper and a big white bow - betrayal.
This isn’t how I envision God’s gifts to me.
So I asked, “What do you mean by that Lord?”
He responded, “I give my children the gift of
their past through My eyes and My perspective…if they are willing to accept
it.” Ah, there it is…the caveat that we hear from our Lord so often - if they
are willing to accept it. I reflected on what the Lord has brought me through.
The last four years have been filled with naval staring, crying, reflection,
therapy, more naval staring, and one thing I definitely have now is a new
perspective.
I couldn’t tell anyone why the Lord allowed me to walk my walk, but one thing I can tell is
the more I give Him burdens, hurts, pain, heartache, betrayal and my past
mistakes, the more He teaches me about myself and about Him. I see parts of
myself I never saw before. Gifts, hopes, dreams and wisdom gained and learned
from my past - they are all there wrapped in beautiful, Holy paper - if I want
to unwrap it.
So now when I unwrap my past I see it through His
eyes and His perspective. In my beautifully wrapped past I see re-gifted
molestation that looks a lot like a deep compassion and understanding about how
one wounded person can wound another. In the re-gifted betrayal, I see
redemption and deep understanding of forgiveness. I now understand how to love a betrayer
through my Savior’s heart. I see beautiful things rising out of the ashes that
could not have grown without my past to fertilize and nurture it. I have
compassion, understanding, and wisdom that I never had without my history reflected
in His perspective.
So yes, God re-gifts. Are you willing to open it?
