Tuesday, November 27, 2012

A Discriminate Life



What is indiscriminate compassion? Take a look at a rose. Is it possible for the rose to say, ‘I’ll offer my fragrance to good people and withhold it from bad people’? Or can you imagine a lamp that withholds its rays from a wicked person who seeks to walk in its light? It could do that only by ceasing to be a lamp. And observe how helplessly and indiscriminately a tree gives its shade to everyone, good and bad, young and old, high and low; to animals and humans and every living creature—even to the one who seeks to cut it down. This is the first quality of compassion—its indiscriminate character.” Abba’s Child, Brennan Manning.

I am ashamed to admit I have lived a life of discriminate character thus far.

Raised in fundamental and evangelical roots with a mindset towards losing favor for a sinful lifestyle, I became a wonderful judge and jury. If someone was living with their significant other, the tsk tsk began. If someone revealed their tendency toward alcohol, drug, or other addiction, my eyebrow raised. If someone attended a “lesser” church than my denomination, well, that person couldn’t possibly pour into my spiritual walk.

Some call this being judgmental. I prefer the term discriminate. For me to be discriminate is a far more calculated and educated form of judgment.

I started shedding this callous title several years ago when God, in His humorous wisdom, brought several people into my life that helped peel away this encrustation from my soul.

The first was a couple of women I work with. There was instant knitting in the Spirit when I met them. They loved the Lord, were the most grace-filled Christians I’d met in a long time – and they were domestic partners. I had no idea when I first met them. They were just like me, yet they had no callous discrimination as their vision.

The second was an Episcopal music minister in charge of the music in a community theater production…and his partner. This precious couple welcomed this evangelical bigot with open arms and won my heart.

The final chink in my discriminate armor came as a dear friend and writing mentor, herself a Spirit-filled Christian and minister’s wife. Her love and acceptance of all faiths – including pagans (gasp) - chaffed my well-worn religiosity. Her open curiosity and love of “them” was a stark contrast to my holy-tinted glasses.

I waffled. I swayed. I fussed a little.

And then the Lord brought a transgender individual into my life. As a young man, I emotionally adopted him as one of mine. Then came the news that “he” is now a “she” in the eyes of the law. This pushes new boundaries of my indiscriminate love and acceptance; but if you’ve kept up with my journey, many boundaries have been challenged and this was just one more. How could I not unconditionally love this “new” individual despite the gender switch?

God uses the most interesting things to teach us about how He views and loves us; but piece-by-piece my discrimination has chipped away to reveal new skin in the shape of my Redeemer’s heart.

Are these lifestyles I embrace as Biblical? No.

Do I know what the Word says about said-lifestyles? Yes.

Am I willing to look past the lifestyle to the soul living it? That was Jesus’ question to me.

My answer: God uses the things I have called foolish to confound the religious “wise”. I am embracing my new foolishness with a resounding YES.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Obedience vs Sacrifice


I have learned much about shedding the carnal nature lately. I liken it to circumcision without numbing medication (not that I've ever been circumcised, but the vivid imagination of a writer fills in the blanks). I have had a face-to-face with my carnal side before. Some meetings were victorious, others, not so much.

Most recently I was challenged by the Holy Spirit to lay down something that I have longed for most of my adult life. I wish I could say I easily shed my wantonness and chose obedience. Victory eventually came, but a sacrifice was involved.

When Abraham trudged up Mt Moriah with his son, they went alone and Isaac carried the wood. The Bible doesn't state, but I imagine Isaac questioned his father and struggled when Abraham slowly tied his hands. He probably pleaded, fought, panicked and even compromised.

The Word also doesn't tell us what was going on in Abraham’s mind, but I can only imagine.

“Lord, do you really mean for me to do this?”

Silence.

“But Lord, I waited so long for Isaac. You promised!”

Silence.

“Lord, if you let him live, I’ll… .”

More silence.

Can you relate?

During this shedding session, I learned many things:

1.    We don’t get to choose what we have to sacrifice. God chooses.
2.    We have to go it alone. Just Him and us.
3.    The thing we must sacrifice will carry its own fuel.
4.    The sacrifice will be something we treasure.
5.    If we are NOT obedient, there will be a sacrifice.
6.    If we ARE obedient, the sacrifice might get up and live.
7.    If required to sacrifice it, there will be great blessings in the aftermath.

Obedience is better than sacrifice…but oh so much harder.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

White Noise



How do you shed the busy brain? Do you retrain it? Discipline it?

How do you be still in your thoughts?


For my entire adolescent and adult life I have had an ongoing exercise wheel squeaking in my head as my thoughts run in full circle going nowhere and finding no end to their journey.

Some thoughts complete themselves. Others just keep running hoping to find the end of themselves.

I wonder if the Apostle Paul had this problem. Maybe that is why he was a scribe (I like to think of a scribe as a Bible-day writer except with more education). At least the written word allows the thoughts a vehicle to go somewhere. Perhaps that is why I write.

I read once that “Silence is solitude practiced in action.” (unknown)

I read a story recently that impacted me. There was a harried executive who went to the desert hermit and complained about his frustration in prayer, his flawed virtue, and his failed relationships. The hermit listened closely to this man’s struggle through the Christian life. Then he went into his cave and brought out a bowl. “Now watch the water as I pour it into the basin,” he said. The water splashed on the bottom and against the sides of the bowl agitated and in turmoil. At first the stirred up water swirled around the inside of the bowl, then gradually began to settle. Finally the small ripples evolved into larger swells.



Eventually the surfaced became so smooth that the executive could see his face reflected in the calm water. “That is the way it is when you live constantly in the midst of others,” said the hermit. “You do not see yourself as you really are because of all the confusion and disturbance. You fail to recognize the divine presence in your life and the consciousness of your belovedness slowly fades.”

Trying to be still in your soul requires waiting. A Holy waiting and watching.

When we are liberated from dependence on people, busy thoughts, and even the white noise of life we can truly see and sense how God sees us. Holy silence drowns out other’s opinion of us; for when we are truly silent all we hear is our breath syncing with God’s heartbeat.

I don’t know if shedding the noise of life is possible, but I want to try – one silent moment at a time.