Last Thoughts on Shame

Shame and all its accouterments will circle wagons around us if we don’t break the negative cycle. Remember, it is one of the enemy’s favorite tools to keep us from walking in our designed call.

I want to encourage you, loved one, wrestling with these negative cycles does not mean you are not an overcomer! Jacob wrestled with God, David wrestled with his flesh, and the Apostle Paul repeatedly implored the Lord to deliver him from a recurring struggle. We are in good company!

The Lord is calling us to wake up and shed all that entangles and entraps us. The things we overcome will be the foundation and launching pad for our destiny. What you accept, you will learn to adapt, then you will eventually conform to it until you are willing to confront it.”

Your giant will take you if you don’t take them. Life is defined by what you conquer, or by what you DON’T conquer.

“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing (including shame), shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-38

Starter Kit for Battling Shame

I have been battling shame in one form or another since I was a kid. Unfortunately, it comes with the territory of living with an alcoholic dad and codependent mother. But it wasn’t until the Lord showed me this picture of myself with the sticky residue of shame that I got serious about shedding this unwanted grave clothing.

There is no “formula” for going in to battle; however, if you are new to this, here is a starter kit:

1. Identify if this is conviction from sin that has putrefied into shame or if this is misplaced shame.
2. Put your big kid panties on and either a) repent or b) own your portion of the misplaced shame (i.e. are you behaving in a co-dependent way).
3. Along with your big kid panties, put on your armor, and pick up your Bible.
4. Choose to believe the promises of God and that all the efforts to put us to shame will fail. It really is a choice. Start proclaiming God’s word over yourself. Below are a few favorite scriptures.
5. Renounce Shame and the power it has had over your life.
6. Break it in the mighty name of Jesus!

Then, when shame comes at you again – and it will as it is a favorite tool of the enemy – repeat all steps mentioned above. Do as often as necessary!

We serve a mighty God. He has granted us mighty tools. He will redeem the shattering earthquakes in your life and recover the wasted years. He will replace these grave cloths with shining, pure robes. Instead of shame, He grants double honor! Praise Him!

“But Israel (I) shall be saved by the Lord with an everlasting salvation; you (I) shall not be ashamed or disgraced forever and ever.” Is. 45:17 NKJV

“Do not fear, for you will not be put to shame, and do not feel humiliated or ashamed for you will not be disgraced. For you will forget the shame of your youth and you will no longer remember the disgrace of your widowhood.” Is. 54:4 Amplified

“For the Scripture says, ‘whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.” Romans 10:11 NKJV

“No weapon (shame) formed against you will prosper, and every tongue that rises against you in judgment, you shall condemn.” Is. 54:17 NKJV

Shame

I will never forget the news footage and pictures of victims running through the streets like phantoms from a horror movie when the twin towers fell in 2001. White ash and debris clung to their anguished faces, their clothes devoid of any color but that of the soot and dust.

Spiritually, I could identify with these precious souls. For over a decade it felt I was climbing out of the ruins of a life with ash and soot clinging to me like wet garments; or wet grave cloths as it were.

I couldn’t shake this caked-on feeling in my soul, so I asked the Holy Spirit to show me what was clinging to me after all these years. I’d forgiven. I’d let go. I’d even gone through deliverance (now that takes commitment!). Yet in my soul I felt sticky residue. After a time of listening, I sensed the phrase, “stale shame.”

So I guess this means that stale grief has a cousin!

There are two kinds of shame:

·    Well-placed shame (or conviction). This is due to one’s sin or wrong doing; an appropriate response followed by correcting the wrong.

·    Mis-placed shame. This happens when we take upon ourselves shame that has nothing to do with our own actions or sin; a dishonoring of God that we did not have a hand in. This is self-centered shame.

Apparently, while in the rubble of my life, I’d donned grave cloths of shame and they became stale. I read somewhere that much of what makes us feel shame is not that we dishonor God by our actions, but that we failed to give the appearance that other people admire.

Ouch.

Misplaced shame happened to Jesus and to Paul. The crowd called Jesus a temple-destroyer. They called Paul mad when he defended himself in court and even called him an enemy. In other words, I was in good company.

The Lord gave me a prescription for this shame – but you will have to read on in the next post for it. (Marketing 101, make them come back for more).

”O Lord you brought my soul up from the grave;

You have kept me alive that I should not go down to the pit.”

Psalms 30:3